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New York, 9:47 AM
Mon Dec 21
18 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Gabriel Snyder Gabriel Snyder
    12/18/09

    In reply to Bill Keller: 'No Further Newsroom Staff Cut Planned or Foreseen' at the New York Times
    How's Keller's optimism going over with the NYT's recently departed? As expected, not so well. One emails:

    this is the same full-of-shit memo that he sent out after the last round of cuts, as i'm sure everyone is well aware.

    nowhere does keller mention the Guild arbitration that the paper lost on Monday - over the severance conditions of the last round of layoffs - a decision that the paper finally allowed to happen, after a year and a half of dicking around legally, because they couldn't begin this year's layoffs without having settled last year's first.

    i'm so happy to hear he was cheered and saddened by the speeches made by employees made to walk the plank. apparently the masthead was very very unwelcome at those farewell parties in the newsroom. how many glasses were raised for the laidoff, do you imagine?

    and by the way - how's jill abramson's puppy?! that's what everyone really wants to know!
     Reply
    Gabriel Snyder was starred Gabriel Snyder was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    12/18/09

    In reply to Bill Keller: 'No Further Newsroom Staff Cut Planned or Foreseen' at the New York Times
    Dear Bill Keller,

    Please tell your publisher to stop selling the entire front page of your sister publication, The International Herald Tribute, to Rolex.

    Love,

    Bart

    [bart-calendar.livejournal.com]
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of Gabriel Snyder Gabriel Snyder
    12/18/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: That's amazing.
     Reply
    Gabriel Snyder was starred Gabriel Snyder was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    12/18/09

    @Gabriel Snyder: I know. I had my girlfriend take a picture of it because i didn't think anyone would believe me otherwise.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of daveyjonesisdead daveyjonesisdead
    12/18/09

    In reply to WSJ Editor: 'Principle Is But a Bystander at The New York Times'
    Big words for a Murdochian.
     Reply
    daveyjonesisdead was starred daveyjonesisdead was unstarred
    Image of God God
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    These 'women' are going to Hell. Real women never poop. They just hold it in and give themselves fortnightly enemas in a Glade-enriched environment.
     Reply
    God was starred God was unstarred
    Image of Pick-me-a-winner Pick-me-a-winner
    12/16/09

    @God: Haha. Says God. Loves you!
     Reply
    God promoted this comment Pick-me-a-winner was starred Pick-me-a-winner was unstarred
    Image of depardoo depardoo
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    So, there really is a connection between Ronn [sic] and douche.
     Reply
    depardoo was starred depardoo was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    I'm one of those amateur women and I flush on the reg, double wrap my plugs--get it together, pros!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    I may die laughing!!!
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: Genius advertising.
     Reply
    Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan was starred Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
     
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: Is this a double bill with the Vagina Monologues?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: And the Vibrator show!
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    So someone is taking dumps and not flushing at a public relations firm? I'm sure it's entirely accidental and in now way metaphorical...
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    More employers should make non-use of the courtesy flush grounds for immediate termination.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    Even worse if they're dumping 'n bleeding and the hand soap NEVER RUNS OUT. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: Out, out, damn'd squat!
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of AndPreciousLittleofThat AndPreciousLittleofThat
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    Sigh...there are times when I wish Americans had the same fetish for euphemism as our British counterparts.

    Maybe it's just me, but starting a company-wide email with the phrase "whoever took a dump in the ladies room" isn't very businesslike.
     Reply
    AndPreciousLittleofThat was starred AndPreciousLittleofThat was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/16/09

    @AndPreciousLittleofThat: Are you kidding me? The British version of this would run something along the lines of "which one of you faaaaaaaakin' cunts left a Tom Squitter in the loo?"
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of AndPreciousLittleofThat AndPreciousLittleofThat
    12/16/09

    @RollsRoyceRevenge: See, I would COMPLETELY prefer that to the original email.

    Heh...Tom Squitter.
     Reply
    AndPreciousLittleofThat was starred AndPreciousLittleofThat was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    12/16/09

    @AndPreciousLittleofThat: This is how I would have written it:

    For some time, the bold artistic experiments of a young employee at our firm have come to our attention. This high-minded bohemian has chosen not the light of renown but the noble path of anonymity, a lone woman toiling in the dark of a dank water closet in the pursuit of elevating the base to the sublime. The rawness of the work, the unabashed suspension of quotidian jetsam in a porcelain bowl, has awed even the most jaded of unwitting visitors who have happened onto it; it being, of course, an object the majority of humanity -- depending on age, diet and medical condition -- makes use of every day. Discussion was vigorous as to what it all meant. It seemed to lack any sort of semiotic value; however, slowly, the threads of meaning gradually coalesced, and we were left with some contradictory notions which we could submit to the public discourse. What some of us have to come to agree upon is that the piece (--or more aptly, pieces) is a felicitous marriage of the cathartic sublimity of Chris Ofiliel to the cheeky recontextualising tendencies of Marcel Duchamp. In a word: brilliant.

    Happily, in the same venue, there is another piece that none-too-subtly makes reference to ancient female fertility rites in its attempt to fly in the face of some of the more humorous -- to us moderns -- proscriptions contained in Leviticus. It is a first-rate comment on modern gender theory. Speaking for us all: we left in astonishment.

    Unfortunately, I have the regrettable duty to also speak to the concerns of a minority of our employees. Be it a result of the vestigial remnants of a bourgeois religious sensibility or a mere philistinism, the public response was not overwhelmingly positive. Telephone conversations were initiated. E-mails were exchanged. Angry arguments and hateful rejoinders ensued. Therefore, with great displeasure, in an effort to preserve accord and harmony among both camps, it has been decided by the upper echelons of management, after a long serious of negotiations, to ask the anonymous artist to end her experiments at this office. I realise this may come as a disappointment to some of us, but please try to understand the mentality of some of your colleagues which serves to make such forward-looking experimentation on the office premises problematic.

    I wish you the warmest of holiday greetings.

    Sincerely yours,
    [redacted]
     Reply
    Edited by i'm a bottle at 12/16/09 5:31 PM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of AndPreciousLittleofThat AndPreciousLittleofThat
    12/16/09

    @i'm a bottle: Absolutely breathtaking!

    And double bonus points for name-dropping an actual, paid, shit-artist.
     Reply
    AndPreciousLittleofThat was starred AndPreciousLittleofThat was unstarred
    Image of Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan
    12/16/09

    @i'm a bottle: This, my friend, is simply genius. Bravo.
     Reply
    Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan was starred Jacques-SweatyTechnique-Paysan was unstarred
    Image of pufflehuff pufflehuff
    12/16/09

    @i'm a bottle: Stunning work!
     Reply
    pufflehuff was starred pufflehuff was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    I blame Ronn(sic) for The Tampon Incident.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: I found the hole story absorbing.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: I, for one, am in shock (toxic).
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @blix: In the mood for word Play, Tex?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @blix: Come over to my pad and discuss.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of FitnessMadeSimple FitnessMadeSimple
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: I'd like to know who is responsible for the leakage.
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple was starred FitnessMadeSimple was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @FitnessMadeSimple: If you can guess who you win two front row tickets to the Menstrual show.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of nellicat nellicat
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: That's enough now. Period.
     Reply
    nellicat was starred nellicat was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: But first, you must log in.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: In the new Menstrual Theatre (now with wings)?
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @blix: The flow of information is out of control.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: Definitely, the clot thickens.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: Bloody good show, mates.

    Sorry I was late.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: The show is a smash hit. Every performance ends with a standing ovulation.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: @blix: @BadUncle: I wish I could pin you all down to go have a belt with me.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @blix: Now they'll never stop the leaks.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    12/16/09

    @BadUncle: @AzureTexan: @blix: @BettyCrocker: @scroll_lock:

    o.b. quiet all of you.
     Reply
    Edited by SidAndFinancy at 12/16/09 3:07 PM SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @SidAndFinancy: This thread is a little spotty.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @SidAndFinancy: @BettyCrocker: @FitnessMadeSimple: @blix: This PR firm's slogan is "Cervix With A Smile".
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: Just a spritzer for me, I'm having a light day.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @blix: I love you all to the maxi.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: And you are the wind beneath our wings.
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @blix: Hop in my Mini and we'll go.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of FitnessMadeSimple FitnessMadeSimple
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: This thread is starting to feel...not so fresh.
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple was starred FitnessMadeSimple was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: That's super!
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @FitnessMadeSimple: We should channel our efforts elsewhere.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Senator Sully Senator Sully
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: @BettyCrocker: Oh the hysterics! I'll have to pull myself up a bloody stool.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker promoted this comment Senator Sully was starred Senator Sully was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @Senator Sully: @scroll_lock: We've got the world on a string! Sittin' on a rainbow...
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: I supposed we have become a bit ragged.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    12/16/09

    @FitnessMadeSimple: Whatever you do, don't pull it!
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of FitnessMadeSimple FitnessMadeSimple
    12/16/09

    @blix: To be fair, I'm a bit distracted. Aunt Flo is in town for her monthly visit.
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple was starred FitnessMadeSimple was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @blix: I don't cotton to that.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: It's just a tampon in a teapot.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: That's thinking out of the box.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: You'll always be Mi dol.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: We should go to the spa for a little Pamprin!
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/16/09

    @BettyCrocker: Let's go now, I don't water weight much longer.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/16/09

    @scroll_lock: Well, I don't want to cramp your style.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    Who's betting that Christine Garabedian is going to have a couple tough months of late night calls over this?
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of The Dewd The Dewd
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Time 5WPR Had a Nasty Ladies Room
    Hm. I always suspected they would be throwing it at each other, given that the firm is run by a giant, angry ape. This actually increases my esteem for 5W PR!
     Reply
    Edited by The Dewd at 12/16/09 2:39 PM The Dewd was starred The Dewd was unstarred
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